EMAIL FLIRTING is a playful and lighthearted way to entice a connection with someone you're interested in. Once you captured their attention, the challenge will be to maintain that breezy playfulness long enough so it leads to a 'live' connection.
So someone's caught your eye, but instead of tongue-tied, you find yourself 'finger- tied'! Or, maybe you've sent numerous emails to members but haven't gotten any responses. Many of us wonder how to flirt online. Well, I'm here to help you kick it up a notch. Here's my countdown of the top ten email flirting tips to help transform your emails from boring to brilliant! AND, land that date!
BONUS TIP: Need some help with icebreakers? At the bottom are five questions you can use to get your email flirts noticed ;-)
You've written what you thought was an innocuous statement and suddenly you're being blasted for your insensitivity. Because we can't see the persons face, here the tone of their voice, or see other non-verbal cues, it's often hard to gauge intent from just an email message.
Misinterpretation and misunderstanding can easily happen. Fortunately, there's a way to add a little non-verbal expression to your message with a few strokes of your keyboard. Used sparingly, these can add a bit of nuance to what you really want to say.
Make your email flirting imaginative. I was contacted by a man who wrote me a very romantic first email. I couldn't resist corresponding. We wrote to each other for a few weeks then it dropped off. Months later I updated my profile and changed my photo to keep it current. Within a day I received the same romantic email!
Can't think of anything flirtatious to say? Using their name within the content of your message is considered very flirtatious. "Sheila, I was so impressed with the water conservation project you initiated in your community - tell me more"!
Resist the temptation to write your autobiography in the first email. Allow your story to gradually unfold. Email flirting should be more about the other person anyway. Give your flirt partner a chance to get to know you at their pace.
Complementing someone's looks should be timed right, be subtle but clever. Don't come on strong - you'll seem more interested in their looks. Instead of saying "you're very pretty" - too unimaginative - say "I just can't stop looking at your eyes". Don't limit complements to just looks as part of your email flirting techniques. Saying "your writing style really captured my interest" is also very flattering.
Everyone loves a laugh but not everyone shares the same sense of humor. Don't force it if you feel you can't write with humor because your message will sound contrived. The easiest way to express humor is to poke fun at yourself. "I REALLY could've used your carpentry skills when I attempted to build a bird house"!
I know it's exciting when that one individual you've been going GA GA over has communicated with you. BUT, It's best to initially keep your enthusiasm in check. Sending responses immediately, each time someone writes, can seem desperate. Pacing yourself with well-timed responses is a much more effective way of email flirting.
Sexual overtness can get you in trouble. If you're seriously looking for a relationship - this is a big turnoff. And, you run the risk of being reported to the dating service. Be respectful at all times.
A little sexual bantering is okay - but, only after you've both recognized that there's chemistry happening between you. Don't push it if you aren't getting a response though. Take your cues from your flirting partner - they may be feeling uncomfortable with it.
Email communication has become very informal but that doesn't mean you can overlook good writing. Deciphering acronyms and trying to make sense of poor grammar is tedious, frustrating and can be the reason someone chooses to not respond. Many email software have a spelling and grammar checker - USE IT. If your email doesn't have a good spell check tool, use an online checker such as Spell Check Plus - it's free.
This is another very effective way of email flirting. Their profile is full of information you can ask questions about. Don't get too personal though - this will scare people off. Find something unique or intriguing in their profile and ask about that. "During your trek in Nepal, did you happen to run across any snow leopards?" When you're interested... You're interesting!
DRUM ROLL PLEASE...
Take the time to read their profile - everyone loves a little recognition. Playfully reference something that's caught your eye. Try something like "I see you love to cook... I happen to specialize in eating - what's your favorite dish"? I can't stress enough how effective this is when email flirting. If you do nothing else - do this!
A Few Final Words on Follow-up
Using these email flirting tips should keep your online conversation lively and fun, and hopefully lead to something up close and personal!